• Betsy Ross

What Could Possibly Be Wrong?

In the midst of turmoil throughout the world, country, and hearts and minds of all wanderers, there are glimpses of moments that keep life unsettling. I remember coming home after receiving my DD214 and not having a drop of confidence in what I was doing anymore. I jumped into school because it seemed logical in its own way, but also the only thing possible. I didn't communicate very well with my peers and professors, but a part of me wanted to be back in the Army again too. As ludicrous as it may sound, I only found more ways to justify the unsettling burden that rested upon my shoulders. The confusion and unknown.

Now, being the year of 2020, it's coming up on my 8th year anniversary of leaving the Army. Truthfully, it doesn't feel like it was that long ago, and random memories replay as if they occurred the other day as opposed to 8 YEARS AGO. Outside looking in, it may seem like insanity to rekindle things that happened YEARS ago. However, at a personal level, it was 9 years ago that created a bottomless pit of despair and heartache; a severe mental breakdown that literally made the world around me look dim and unnatural.

With all that put aside, FIGHT was my resurrection; my moment to fulfill a lifelong dream to become an author but also interact with the military again. My chain of command disowned me--that's how I feel about it--so to refocus on helping veterans and military personnel who struggle mentally has been my new passion. But I'm also still human and attempt to actively continue my own FIGHT mentally and emotionally. It's easy to follow the trend that emotions and thoughts are like switches and that would be the end of it all. Life, unfortunately, doesn't work that way--at least, not when facing the surreal outcome of belittling and hiding them for so long. Eventually people "snap" or "break" and all the sudden people say: "I never saw it coming". This is the unspeakable link that--I believe--coincides the issue the veteran community faces daily: Suicide.

It is becoming more and more acceptable that it is really MORE than 22 veterans that are committing suicide daily. The heartbreaking truth behind this surreal trend is that half don't care and the others are clueless how to defend and FIGHT for it. But how do you heal someone who doesn't ask for help? How do you know what to do once you do hear their stories? I attended the death-by-powerpoint classes when I was in the service, and as I felt myself falling into that depression where life literally was becoming meaningless...I knew EXACTLY how to hide it all.

Classes only do so much. Powerpoints only do so much. So, again, I ask HOW DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE IS THINKING OF COMMITTING SUICIDE??

~Keep Fighting the Fight~


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